Author Archives: Bill Bartz

Farmer Billy

Hey folks, on another tack, I wanted to share a sad story with y’all. Last November Annette and I spent a week in Portland and while there happened upon an oak tree with acorns all over the ground. I picked up 3 of em and brought em home with the intent of germinating the little things.

So, we put em in a pot of dirt, set em on the basement windowsill and watered them with the other plants Annette brings in for the winter. December goes by, nothing, January, February, nothing. Then one day in March, lo and behold, a seedling.

Well, this little guy started to grow and after about a month we started to put it outside when the temp got above 50.

This went on for a few weeks and one day Annette said “hey, what happened to the sapling?”.

Turned out some damn rabbit came along and bit off the little trees right at the ground and then left them cause they were to  hard to chew. I took the 2 plants, slit the stalks suspended them in water with some plant food and hoped they wood root again. They lasted about a month but finally withered and died and went to the happy compost pile in the sky.


 But with most things in life there is a ying and a yang. Sunday I had Hassenpfeffer.


Looks as though the “real truth” is beginning to emerge about Obama’s “wiretapping”.

Turns out he hired an outside security firm to bug Trump tower.

He felt that Trump was in cahoots with the Russians and that give him the authority to bug Trump tower.

These are not trumped up charges. As I write this, Obama’s lawyers are trying to cut a deal behind the scenes.

From what I’ve been told by a Whitehorse souse, here’s the deal he cut. He will plead no contest to 1 felony charge and serve hard time

in a federal prison (where he will learn the true meaning of intimate relations with your fellow man) and at the end of Trumps second term Trump will pardon him. He will then be deported back to Africa.

Just shows to go, you don’t mess with the T rump.


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Herded some of the cats onto my sailboat, thought they’d be excited but I see from the picture Sue’s yawning and ready for a nap.

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That Special Winter Vacation Spot

OK folks, if your looking for that special winter vacation spot, Chicago is the place for you.We have a 16-24inch base with 6 inches of fresh powder. Entertainment and restaurants second to nowhere else. Plenty of ample clean parking, just move those lawn chairs and slide right in. Ice skating and cross country skiing galore. We’re a little light on downhill runs but we do have a halfpipe (I smoked the other half last night). Come to Chicago and have a blast.

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Christmas Getogether

So, what’s the Seely St. gang doing (as a group) for Christmas?

I have it (from several disreputable sources) that there are still quite a few establishments that we haven’t been thrown out of.

How about we get ourselves together and pursue getting our asses barred form another bar/resturant.


Front Porche

So what’s with the bandages on Cheryl’s fingers?


Allan B. Calhamer

It is with a note of sorrow I must announce the passing of Allen B. Calhamer. Who, you might ask, is Allen B. Calhamer? Well,———–this might be a stretch, but If it were not for this well studied sage I might not have met any of the gang and would not be here writing this story. In 1959 while studying world history Allen felt there should be a board game depicting post WWI europe so he developed the game Diplomacy!

In 1967 my good friend Mike Fiechtner decided I needed to broaden my horizons and meet with a bunch of guys in Tom Zito’s basement. This is where I met Mike Lyons, Tom Zito and Richard; and we played the game Diplomacy. It did not take long to figure that Mike (Lyons) was able to control this game like Beckham controls a soccer match. Mike almost always won and we had a great time. And that, is how I was introduced to the 1st tier of the Seely St. crowd. So while I may not shed a tear I will hoist a glass to Allen and say “thanks for the memories”.


Jan gets dose of culture in the Big Apple

This just in. While exploring her new neighborhood Jan bumped into another woman who called her a “bitch”. Jan, not understanding the local vernacular construed this as a derogatory remark. Jan, nothing could be further from the truth. Much like when a brother refers to you as a “motha fucka” being called a “bitch” in New York is a term of endearment. Get with the program. The proper reply would be to smile and say, “right arm”.


I think Mike was having a bad hair day

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Happy birthday Ralph and Jan.

The three people in the picture of me with the life jacket are Cheryl (we knew that one), Ron and my younger brother Brett. I still have the life jacket, maybe I’ll learn how to swim.